MAIL FROM THE OTHERWORLD
Wrong email ID:
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, without realizing his error, he sent the mail.
.
Meanwhile… Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral.
.
The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen.
v
which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve reached
Date: 5 APRIL 2009
I know you’re surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here, and we are
allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I’ve just reached and have been checked in.
see that everything has been prepared
for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to see you TOMORROW!
|
 |
MANAGEMENT LESSON - ‘MARKETING’
V
What is Marketing?
A. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” - That’s Direct Marketing”
B. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.” -That’s Advertising”
C. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me - That’s Telemarketing”
D. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” - That’s Public Relations”
E. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! me?” - That’s Brand Recognition”
F. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - “That’s Customer Feedback”
G. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. - “That’s demand and supply gap”
H. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him - “That’s competition eating into your market share”
I. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. - “That’s restriction for entering new markets.
V
TEACHING METHODOLOGY
TO TEACH YOUNGESTERS (ESPECIALY) ABOUT MARKETING IS VERY SIMPLE THROUGH THIS ABOVE EXAMPLES.THEY WILL BE TOTALLY IN A RECIVING MODE.THIS IS ALSO CONSIDERED TO BE A GREAT JOKE WITH A PURPOSE.MANAGEMENT IS JUST AN ART.SO MIXING UP BIT JOKE WITH BIT OF SENSUALITY WILL BE IN GREAT HEALP.SO THE MANAGEMENT PROF/TEACHERS CAN ADOPT THIS KIND OF SIMPLE JOKES ACCORDING TO THE AGE GROUP OF STUDENTS THEY DEAL WITH.IN GENERAL WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE PULSE OF OUR STUDENTS/AUDIENCE THAT WILL GIVE US A GREAT IN AND OUTLOOK.ONCE WE UNDERSTANDS THE PULSE OF THE LISTENERS WITH WHOM WE ARE ADDRESSING WILL BE GREAT.THE BACKROUND OF OUR LISTENERS LIKE LOCALITY,EDUCATIONAL BACKROUND,LERNING SKILLS OR ABILITIES ALL THESE FACTORS NEED BE KEEP IN OUR MIND BEFORE LECTURING UNDO THEM.THIS WILL HELP US TO HAVE A GREAT PRPARATION OR PLANNING WELL IN ADVANCE.MANY TIMES WE MAY BE IN A POSITION TO ADDRESS TO THE NEW GROUP OF PEOPLE,IN THIS KIND OF SITUATIONS WE REALLY MAKE THE GROUP MEMBERS TO SHARE ONE BY ONE ABOUT THEIR NAME,BACKROUND,AND WHAT FOR THEY ARE HERE? Etc CAN HELP A LOT TO UNDERSTAND THE NEW GROUP OF PEOPLE IN GENERAL.ONCE WE KNEW THIS THAT IS THE RIGHT TIME TO BEGIN OUR LECTURES.
|
|
|
MANAGEMENT LESSON - ‘MARKETING’
What is Marketing?
.
A. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” - That’s Direct Marketing”
B. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.” -That’s Advertising”
C. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me - That’s Telemarketing”
D. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” - That’s Public Relations”
E. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! me?” - That’s Brand Recognition”
F. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - “That’s Customer Feedback”
G. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. - “That’s demand and supply gap”
H. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him - “That’s competition eating into your market share”
I. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. - “That’s restriction for entering new markets
|
|
|
‘THE CAMEL AND BABY CAMEL’
A Thought
A mother and a baby camel were lazing around, and suddenly the baby camel asked..
Baby : Mother, mother, may I ask you some questions?
Mother : Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?
Baby : Why do camels have those great big humps on their backs ?
Mother : Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we
are known to survive without water…. We can go on long treks across the deserts
without drinking for extended periods…
Baby : Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded, wiith those huge three toed feet ?
Mother : Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. They help you stay on top of the soft sand… You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone does ! Said the mother proudly.
Baby : Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my sight.
Mother : My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind.
Said mother camel with eyes gleaming with pride….
Baby : I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert sand and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert winds…. But Mom…..
Mother : (Getting a little impatient…) Tell me boy, something is still bothering you… ????
Baby : Then Mom… what the hell are we doing here in this goddamn Zoo ?
MORAL OF THE STORY :
“Skills, knowledge, abilities and experiences are of value only
if you are at the right place”
|
|
|
‘FUN IN MARRIAGE’-JUST FOR JOKES
Marriage Stories
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady.
And after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:-
“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.
I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about It.
Those are my rules. Any comments?
“His new bride said,
“No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night… Whether you’re here or not.
=========================================================
“Marriage ,Part -II”
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:-
“Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.”
“Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:-
“Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.
==========================================================
“Marriage,Part- III”
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, “And you are no good in bed either.” And storms out of the house.After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, “What took you so long to answer the phone?
“She says, “I was in bed.”
“In bed this early, doing what?”
“Getting a second opinion!”
==========================================================
“Marriage ,Part - IV”
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife Is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
“Shall we go home ‘Mother of Six’?”
His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back,
“Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”
==========================================================
“Marriage,Part -V”
The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ” Please wake me at 5:00 AM.
” He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
==========================================================
|
|
|
ENGLISH TEACHERS DO NOT READ THIS..
This is an funny english essay wrritten by an IAS aspirant.it came up in the news paper.i have recived it through mail after reading can’t hold my laugh and now intented to make you laugh.
For English Teachers attenion:- if you are a week hearted person please don’t read the above.
(Note-for better view ‘touble click’ on your mouse left button for the enlarger view of the picture)
BUSINESS IN BLOOD..
An Arab Story
BUSINESS
An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to the neighboring states.
Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab and the surgery went through.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds, jewelry, and half a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a box of almond halwa (sweets). The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him “This time also I thought that you would give me some thing like a Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewelry. But you gave only a card and a box of almond sweets.
To this the Arab replied “Can’t help it, Bapu….. Now I have Gujju blood in my veins!!”
********************************************************************************
|
|
|
PASTE IT AS REQUIRED…
At training program for the top management.
A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd’s attention, said,
“The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife !.
“The crowd was shocked ! He followed up by saying,
“That woman was my mother!
“The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the(undergone)training decided to use that joke at his house.
He tried to rehearse the joke in his head.It was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly,
“The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!
“Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.”
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall
the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out…
…and I can’t remember who she was !
“As expected, he got thrashing of his life time.
Moral of the story: Don’t just copy if you can’t paste.
Apply your logic and commonsense as required.
|
|
|